Home for Christmas

The idea of “home” has been on my mind so much these past few months, and especially this holiday season. I’ve reflected frequently on the home I grew up in, the home my husband and I have created for our children these past 30 years, and the homes my adult children are just now beginning with their own young families. I turned 50 this year, and might I say…it’s a pretty sweet view. The reflective looking back, the relishing in the present and the hoping for many more years ahead has filled my cup repeatedly.

I also have to admit to experiencing waves of fear for the near future. We are preparing to send our youngest two sons out as missionaries for our church this summer. They’ll be gone for 2 years and that feels both thrilling in an adventurous way and ever so lonely at the same time.

I’ve prayed many a day that I’ll know how best to prepare them to be away from us and each other. You mothers know those kind of prayers. The kind offered while loading the dishwasher and folding socks.

This past summer I had a particularly rough few weeks. They were kind that feel full of frustration, stress, unmet expectations and too many demands that kept me spread thin. I was worn right out. It was one of those “I’m at the end of my rope” kind of stints and I was in need of lifting and rejuvenation.

I’ve learned that getting out of my own head, and getting lost in someone else’s story is often just the anecdote for this kind of need. I ended up opening one of my family’s history books (researched and compiled by my lovely spinster Aunt, genealogy guru of our family). I started looking over names and dates and family trees and adored being taken back in time a bit. I came across a family I hadn’t ever known about before and found little pieces of their story to be a healing salve to my own.

This is my 4th great grandmother, Sarah Jane Vaughan and her 4 sons. Her oldest boy, Rodolphus was a soldier in the Civil War. He would have been away while she was busy tending to a farm and raising his younger 5 siblings. She had no guarantee that he would return, she didn’t know what the end of the war would look like, or if it would last long enough that her other sons would be affected. Just imagine the prayers she must have offered. I suspect they were offered up continually, perhaps even while she washed dishes and folded socks. 🙂

In my family history book there is letter written by Rodolphus to his family, while he was serving as a soldier. He talks briefly about the challenging conditions, the hours and hours spent drilling and preparing to fight, and the low morale of the other men. Then, he writes these beautiful words…

“Do not worry for me. I’ve found myself at home where ever I have been. Pray for me.”

He found himself at home! In the midst of the Civil War, mind you.

I’ve pondered over these words time and time again and what it means to be able to tap into the feeling of “home” regardless of location, or who you are with, or what is baking in the kitchen, or what is under the Christmas tree.

Surely there is one clear answer.

He must have known how to tap into and rely God’s love. Ever present, always available, regardless of circumstance, location or comfort level.

This is the kind of Love I want my children to know about. We try to offer it as parents, don’t we? A small replica of it, in all the ways we serve and care for them. I hope I’ve done it in a way that would always point to God…the very creator of love. Infinitely greater than my own, and available at all times.

“…but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made know unto God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, shall keep your heart and minds through Christ Jesus.” Phillippians 4: 6-7

Ladies and gentlemen, it appears that prayers offered while washing dishes and folding socks have the power to bring peace.

I believe Sarah Jane and her boy Rodolphus would agree.

My love to all of you today, especially all of you parents out there washing dishes and folding socks. Happy December to you. 🙂