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The Swimsuit Story

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No recipe today, dear reader. Just a little story to put a chuckle in your heart and a smile on your face. Because it’s Mothers Day soon, and I know you like to giggle on Mothers Day, don’t you? 

I thought so.

Me too. 

Last month I gave the key note address at The CEU Women’s Conference. My Mom and sisters traveled down to the college with me, and boy did we have a fun time. (After the address, that is.) I was in worry, worry oh my heck why did I say I would do this mode, until it was all said and done. Literally. The topic I spoke on was Making Life An Adventure. I finished my talk off with the story I am about to share with you. 

They liked it. 

I thought you might enjoy it, too. 

Try to still love me after you read it, okay?

Here. It is. In all it’s glory.

 

Once upon a time, when I had 3 small children, I made plans to take them swimming at a public pool with all of their cousins and aunts. A really great time, is what we were planning to have. But as many of you know, taking small children to the swimming pool can be a bit of a logistical feat with so many outfit changes, wet clothes, wet towels and the like. To save time at the pool, while we were still at home, I put my beautiful purple swimming suit on. And I mean…it was really beautiful. You ought to see how lovely I look in a swimming suit. Seriously. It could bring tears to your eyes.
I tossed a track suit over the top of my award winning purple suit of wonder, and we left for the pool. Once we arrived I noticed there to be several rows of lockers right next to the pool. Great! I thought, we can just take our clothes off right here and get into the pool. Which we did, because I was oh so prepared and completely organized with all of us wearing our suits under our clothes. What a great Mom I am, is what I was thinking at that very moment. 
So, into the locker went my track suit. And off to find some life jackets for my small children went I. I had a hard time finding the right size for my 2 year old and so I waded through the kiddy pool looking for a life guard. When I found one I said…


“Hello there. I’m wondering if you have any really small life jackets.”


To which she said…


Nothing. 


She just stared at me. 


I thought maybe she didn’t hear me, and so I ever so politely said.


“Do you have any small life jackets?”


This time she just looked around, refusing to even make eye contact with me! What is up with her, I thought. 


Then she just walked away. 


Holy cowgirl!She just totally ignored me. This. Is very strange.


At which point my sister in law came up to me and said…


“Um. Jamie.”


“Yeah?”


“You. Are totally wearing your bra.”


And I was. 


I totally WA-HUZ!!!!! I had on my big white bra over the top of my big hefty purple swimming suit, dear reader. I WAS WEARING MY BRA IN PUBLIC!!

Because I am so sophisticated and well organized, as I previously mentioned. 

Now, you may be wondering what a girl knee deep in a pool who had just realized her embarrassing situation might do next, aren’t you? Well, what could I do…but parade myself back to the bank of lockers, remove the big white bra and toss the old girl inside with my other things. 

And then hide in the corner in shame. 
Cry a little.
Put a paper bag over my head. 


I didn’t do any of those things, because I had small children in the pool…remember?


And it’s my life goal to be a really organized, really classy mother. Which I totally am, as you can tell by this story. 

So, I just got in the pool and played with my kids. 
And laughed with my sisters. 
Because during times like these…that’s all there is left to do. 

Happy Mother’s Day, to all of you moms out there. Thanks for joining me today! :) See you back here soon, more fabulous recipes lay in wait just for you and your pretty white bra. Please wear it under your clothing at all times, is the very important lesson I would like to leave with you at this time. 


The end. 

 

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Post a comment!

35 Comments

  1. 1
    May 11, 2012 at 12:03 pm

    Oh that gave me such a chuckle!!! ;) Happy Mother's Day to you Jamie!! It's nice to know that even those well put together mom's have those flubs too!

  2. 2
    Tammy
    May 11, 2012 at 1:51 pm

    How super funny!!! Thank you so much for the laugh! What a 'comfort' it is to know us moms have our moments but still strive to be that organized mom of our dreams. Your blog is so awesome!! Thank you for your hard work with it!

  3. 3
    May 11, 2012 at 2:50 pm

    Yep, pretty much did love this story. Totally imagined this happening in my own city's pool :) .

  4. 4
    Stephanie
    May 11, 2012 at 4:25 pm

    That story is a classic. I tried to picture it as I read it and laughed all the more. I can't believe the girl did't say anything to you.

  5. 5
    May 11, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    Loved the story.

  6. 6
    May 11, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    I have to share my story. We were at 7-Peaks Water Park and my very young son needed to go to the bathroom. So I quickly walked him over to the bathroom and went inside. It was a small bathroom with 2 or 3 stalls. We went to the last one. I helped him with his wet suit there in the stall and waited for him. All of the sudden I hear a MAN's voice talking. My whole body went sick, I was in the MEN's BATHROOM!!!!! I couldn't believe I hadn't paid close enough attention when I hurried so fast to get him to the bathroom. So I waited until I didn't hear any MEN's voices and we ran out as fast as we could. When we got outside there was a man walking up a short distance away. Now, I can “lol.” Any time we use a public restroom, I look at both doors and there signs and make sure I NEVER do that again.

  7. 7
    May 11, 2012 at 5:21 pm

    Reminds me of the time at camp when I was running to the swimming hole, couldn't wait to show off my lovely swimsuit (this was when I would still wear a suit in public!) and was tearing off my clothes as we got closer. It didn't take too long to realize I had totally forgotten to put ON said swimsuit and was sharing my lovely lavender training bra and matching undies to the entire camp. Still embarassing 40 years later, but I can laugh about it!

  8. 8
    May 11, 2012 at 5:38 pm

    Your story made me smile! =)

    Happy Mothers Day!

  9. 9
    Anonymous
    May 11, 2012 at 5:57 pm

    I am so sorry that happened to you but I am sitting here laughing out loud at your mishap.

    Happy Mother's Day to you!!!

  10. 10
    May 11, 2012 at 6:01 pm

    hehe… It will provide you with years of laughter as you and your sister remember this story :)

  11. 11
    May 11, 2012 at 6:20 pm

    Great story! Happy Mother's Day to you and thank you for all the delicious recipes that I actually make and enjoy!

  12. 12
    May 11, 2012 at 6:55 pm

    Thanks for the good laugh, I so needed it. You are a sport. Happy Mother's Day to you. Love your blog!
    Brenda

  13. 13
    May 11, 2012 at 7:15 pm

    Thanks for the laugh!!

  14. 14
    May 11, 2012 at 7:16 pm

    Thank you – great story – will be sharing this with my sisters,

  15. 15
    Anonymous
    May 11, 2012 at 7:30 pm

    Your story brought a smile to my face and heart…Conjured up memories of all the kooky times when my two were little. Sad though that the life guard wouldn't say anything, doesn't say much for her character…It's always nice to be able to laugh at ourselves.

  16. 16
    May 11, 2012 at 8:03 pm

    thank you! and Have a very Happy Mother's Day!!

  17. 17
    May 11, 2012 at 8:25 pm

    Oh.Holy.Crap! I now know why I love you SO much. You are totally like me. This story made me laugh out loud, all afternoon. I love, love, love your sense of humor, and the fact that you can laugh off life's little disasters (I mean speed bumps). Of course, every mother knows that Plan A never happens. It is usually Plan B or C (or Y or Z, in my case)! Have a Happy Mother's Day, you fabulous gal!!!!!!

  18. 18
    May 11, 2012 at 9:31 pm

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  19. 19
    May 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

    I laughed so hard! Thanks for letting me know that I am not the only one who gets ahead of herself every now and then. :)
    Have a wonderful Mothers Day!

  20. 20
    Anonymous
    May 11, 2012 at 9:33 pm

    I loved, loved, loved your story. Thank you for sharing that during a time when so many of us are second guessing, and doubting ourselves. That was a great chuckle! Happy Mother's Day! P.S. I love your blog, too. :)

  21. 21
    Anonymous
    May 11, 2012 at 10:47 pm

    I just peed my pants…thanks alot!

  22. 22
    Anonymous
    May 11, 2012 at 11:12 pm

    Oh now this made me laugh out loud! I could really see this happening to me. My husband calls me Lucy. Thanks for the great story and great laugh. Happy Mother's Day to you also.

    lin lbprich@bellsouth.net

  23. 23
    May 12, 2012 at 1:22 am

    Laughed OUT LOUD!! Thank you for being real :)

  24. 24
    Anonymous
    May 12, 2012 at 3:17 am

    My favorite thing to share is a laugh… thanks for sharing!

  25. 25
    Ellen
    May 12, 2012 at 10:28 am

    You totally crack me up with our stories. You make me laugh when I need it most…and your recipes are absolutely wonderful. I love your blog

  26. 26
    May 12, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    Best. Story. Ever. :D Happy Mothers Day!!!!

  27. 27
    May 13, 2012 at 5:36 am

    I'm seriously laughing so hard at this! Happy mother's day!

  28. 28
    May 13, 2012 at 6:27 pm

    My husband was awakened this morning at 6:30 a.m. with me laughing my head off and tears rolling down my face. While I only wake up in a cold sweat from a nightmare such as this, you, on the other hand, have lived live my dream. I. Loved. This. You are an amazing woman. Thank you for such a great blog.!!!

  29. 29
    May 13, 2012 at 8:32 pm

    Oh my heck, I love this story! Because with 2 small children myself I could totally see my self in that situation! You are so great thanks for sharing :)

  30. 30
    May 13, 2012 at 11:30 pm

    Great story Jamie ~ I think we all have those “I can't believe I did that” moments. I came home one day to discover I had stickers all up the back side of my jeans, on my left leg.

  31. 31
    May 14, 2012 at 3:54 pm

    thank you for this laugh out loud moment – totally needed that!

  32. 32
    May 15, 2012 at 1:19 am

    Tears are streaming down my cheeks and my sides ache from laughing!!
    Best laugh all year!! :)

  33. 33
    Anonymous
    May 15, 2012 at 3:53 am

    Thanks for the great laugh!

  34. 34
    May 15, 2012 at 1:33 pm

    Not many things make me laugh out loud, but this did! Thank you for sharing.

  35. 35
    Anonymous
    May 22, 2012 at 12:07 am

    Jamie you are seriously the funniest girl on the planet. I love your blog, your stories are so funny, I can't remember laughing so hard – Only you could get away with that, you are just too cute!! Love love love this blog!!!!! Wish you were my sister, cousin, aunt, BFF, you make my day!

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